The Tale of Dane Tagger

Was an Imperial named Dane Tagger

Who carried no sword nor dagger.

And after some rum

and far too much fun,

Old Dane he began to stagger.

He had all Green boots and a hat

Dressed like an aristocrat

Wood mallet his weapon

He'd teach you a lesson

When it hit your head with a thwat!

Drunk at the bar for his leisure

Of brains or tact he had neither!

Come the next dawn,

His money was gone,

and his boots he could not find either.

He cursed and looked all around

But his dear boots were not to be found.

He was fit to fight

It was such a slight

They were from a maker most renowned

Dane ran up to the bar keep

Said he’d been robbed in his sleep.

The keep he just grinned And scratched at his chin

"You sold them to Yun for cheap!"

Our Imperial filled with dread

He must really have lost his head.

To sell to a satyr!

He'd get them back later

He’d surely strike the beast dead.

He set to his task bittersweet.

He prayed Yun had kept them most neat.

His eyes went wide, He almost cried.

When He spotted them on Yun’s foul feet!

He charged up straight at the man-goat

Intending to rip out Yun's throat

but Yun stepped aside, he barely broke stride,

And chided Dane as he smoothed out his coat.

"The trade for these boots was most fair.

Let's trade again and end this affair.

The shoes for your hammer.

Be quick and don't stammer!

These boots again you can wear."

Dane smiled and heart’ly agreed.

He handed the mallet with speed.

It was wooden and cheap.

For it he would not weep,

And it would be suited for one of Yun's "breed."

Yun traded, the boots he returned.

Dane gagged and his stomach churned

"Boots I’d not keep

From your flithy feet!"

And then the boots he burned.

Yun thwacked Dane upside the head

Kept hitting, until he was dead

Took out a blade.

Dane's hide he flayed

And made new boots from him instead!